Are You Listening?

• “The more you listen in depth, the more you will become aware that most people have relatively little insight into their own lives. Perhaps people’s lives are unexamined because no one is listening to them.” (John S. Savage, Listening and Caring Skills; A Guide for Groups and Leaders, Abingdon Press, 1996, page 33)
• “What you see is often not what is, and what they say is usually not the problem.” (Paraphrase of a quote from Cindy Miller, Counseling Professor at UGST, Couples in Crises Class, 2005)

 The first quote above, read earlier this week, made me remember the second quote that I often heard repeated while attending seminary. The responsibility of such statements sometimes overwhelms me when I think of the implication of missing the many listening cues that the chaplain is inundated with every time he enters a hospital room. Especially when the chaplain is often bombarded with miscues from the nurses, doctors, other staff, family members, bystanders, and even the patient themselves. As well, his own pain, problems, past, family, and more distract the chaplain. With all my being, I desire to be sensitive to what people are trying to, and needing to, say. But honestly, I know my humanity is a problem for the effectiveness of this whole process.

 

While I agree with the words of both quotes, the tenure of responsibility is more than any human can consistently keep up with. While it may seem that I am trying to defend the right or potential inability to not do a “good” job consistently while visiting patients, I assure you that the contrary is true. However, doing the job of listening effectively will take more than education, practice, or instruction. All of these are beneficial and should be taken advantage of, but dependence upon them alone will not produce the results desired. “Have I heard correctly? Am I listening well? Did I hear what was important? Will my response be clearly understandable?” (Emma J. Justes, Hearing Beyond the Words: How to Become a Listening Pastor, Abingdon Press, 2006, page 72.) The more I grapple with being a good listener, the more I realize that it will take an extraterrestrial influence to be able to do what I desire and is needed.

 

As a Christian chaplain, I am daily made aware that “that something needed” is available in the presence of God’s Spirit. Only with God’s Spirit preceding him and abiding with him can the chaplain walk into room after room of devastation, sickness, disease, heartache, and death and be able to repeatedly listen with a depth that will help him to assist the patient in becoming more insightful of their own lives. Such deep listening will enable the chaplain to guide the patient into their own encounter with the Spirit by reexamining their own spiritual journey. I am reminded of the words of the Apostle Paul that, when he was weak, Christ was made strong (2 Corinthians 12:10). My prayer is that in recognizing my weakness and knowing I can never consistently be a 5.0 chaplain, or even a consistent 3.0 chaplain, Christ’s Spirit might be strong in my ministry. That through Christ, which strengthens me, I can do all things (Philippians 4:13), and the more I am dependent upon His assistance, the better the chance of having an empathy score between 3.0 and 5.0. My greatest desire is that His Spirit would go with me while I do my human best and make up the difference. It is only with this faith I can continue to go from room to room…